Monday, December 2, 2013

An Introduction: 

For me, today is the first workday of December. At 8am this morning, that meant updating my very purple desk calendar (shouts of joy resound). This is nothing special, really, just transferring recurring tasks to the next month before tossing away the November page.

As I folded up the thin sheet into a tight, perfectly-aligned triangle, I couldn't help but think how easy it was to fold up November and all its experiences, and tuck it neatly away in my mind. 
I wonder how many lessons I've "learned" and how many good experiences I've had that are forgotten because I chose not to examine the past month, week, hour, or minute. How many memories and ideas have been tossed out? 

Then it occurred to me. Why not write things down?
Yes, it seems simple. And, it really is.
But not for me. 

Ever since I can remember, writing has terrified me. Sitting in front of a blank page seems to awaken every intellectual insecurity laying dormant within me.
I remember the first essay I ever submitted for grading. I was nothing short of a train-wreck. I logged into the digital blackboard wide-eyed with trembling fingers multiple times a day for the entirety of the week it took to be graded. See, I believed a good grade would validate my writing abilities, or validate that I wasn't stupid at least. 

Now, six years later, not much has changed. I still feel that my writing must be validated by someone smarter or more experienced than I am. The only difference is that now I understand that being afraid to write is not going to make me a better writer. 

I have to start somewhere, and I think this is a good place for humble beginnings. 

Welcome to my blog!